I’m still on Team Joy + quick fish chowder

January 20, 2025

No aspect of this post is created using any type of AI. All mistakes are mine, a real human.

THINKING ABOUT:
The first days after the election I was not okay. The hubs, ever wise, suggested we spend part of the day in nature. As we sat and talked at a picnic table at the Buena Vista Ecological Reserve, I felt my equilibrium returning. We made a few promises to ourselves and each other: Disconnect from the news entirely. Focus on what is in front of us and what’s in our control. Pay attention to concrete actions we can take to make the world a better place for our friends, neighbors, family, and community.

It hasn’t been easy, but one thing I decided was that no one is allowed to steal my joy.

I was truly miserable the first time this person was in office: angry and frustrated all the time. Outraged by everything he did. Going to marches, which felt like something but maybe didn’t make much difference. I donated to causes (which might have helped). My nervous system was a mess, which in turn impacted my health and my ability to do the work I am meant to do: work with speakers and authors to help them find their story and share it with the world. I am not a politician, attorney, activist, or organizer. And with my limited energy, I believe it’s best for me to focus on where I can make a difference and hope that others do the same. That doesn’t mean I won’t be checking in with my elected reps on the regular. I’ll also be getting out for walks and enjoying my beautiful state.

One thing I gave up—for a time—after election day was listening to the Spotify DNC playlist. After my talk with the hubs at the lagoon, I decided that no one, even the 1/3 of voters who didn’t bother voting, could take away the joy of that DNC roll call and the songs that evoked that joy for me. When I’m cooking, cleaning, or hanging out, I am listening to this playlist and thinking about the kind of society I hope we can still build. And sometimes, joy will look like having a fresh fish taco at the waterfront and supporting a local business at the same time.

WATCHING:
Last night we watched the Netflix documentary Will & Harper, documenting the cross-country road trip taken by Will Ferrell and his best friend of 30 years, SNL writer Harper Steele. Harper recently transitioned to female, surprising many of her friends. The goals of the trip were to explore this new version of their friendship and help Harper reclaim many things she loves: shitty beer, bad bars, and truck stop greasy spoons. It’s funny and moving and a testament to the small towns that make up this country. In some places, one on one, Harper is welcomed. In others, not as much. The online reaction of bigoted hatred is scary and uncomfortable. Both acknowledge that Harper traveling with a movie star and a film crew make this experience far safer than it would be otherwise. But it’s a lovely snapshot of acceptance and enduring friendship, and could be a vehicle for trans people to help their families better understand their experience. It’s a tragedy that extremist hatred has warped so many people’s perspectives and endangered the lives of trans people, who literally just want the space and safety to exist.

READING:
I met Jessica Fein at the Grieftastic Book Fair this past November. Fein is the voice behind the powerful “I Don’t Know How You Do It” podcast, and the author of Breath Taking: A Memoir of Family, Dreams, and Broken Genes. Fein’s book documents her family’s search for children through adoption in Guatemala, then learning that their daughter Dalia had a rare degenerative disease that would take her life at 17. Before that moment came, and inspired by Dalia’s own bubbly spirit, Fein and her family had to navigate how to live in the present and experience joy in every moment they had with her.

You'll find all of my book recommendations at my Bookshop. If you buy from that link the author makes more, an indie bookstore gets the sale, and I make a small commission. Win/Win/Win!

EATING:
I don’t have a recipe for fish tacos on my website, but I have this recipe for amazing fish chowder that’s on the table in 30 minutes. LINK HERE

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